He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
