I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
