tell your sister to shave her snatch
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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