i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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