Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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