the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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