She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize