I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
