I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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