I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Randomize
