i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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