I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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