i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
