I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
This can only be settled by a dance off.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
