I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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