some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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