your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
