my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
