The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
