Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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