Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
