All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
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