You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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