This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
