For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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