and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
In America we eat man semen.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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