Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
