Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
