i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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