Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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