I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
