when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
