She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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