we have officially lost it.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
