david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
