its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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