So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize