When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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