babies were throwing up all over the place
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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