I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
