I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
