Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
