i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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