im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
