So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
