WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Randomize
