I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
