That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
