508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
