She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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