shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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