I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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