LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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