I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
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