I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
