On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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