LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
