if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
