There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
