Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
